


Square Filled: Age Gap & Stargazing

by freebirddean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:46:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17040569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freebirddean/pseuds/freebirddean





	1. Age Gap

You always got a kick out of it when ‘Stacy’s Mom’ played through your earphones when you were in the backseat of the Impala. It seemed fitting because at that moment you would look up into the rearview mirror and catch the eye of Sammy’s Dad. He would flash you a subtle wink and your cheeks would turn pink and quickly drop your gaze. It would be an action that went unnoticed by the unobservant Winchester boys. Even though Sam was in the backseat with you, trying to sit as close to you as he could get away with. You liked Sam, sure, but you didn’t like him the way he wished you did. He was a nice boy, but he was just that: a boy. You needed a man. Like John who was over thirty years your senior. 

Not only had Sam shown interest in you but so did his older brother. When you were younger, the farthest you had let Dean get was second base in a janitor’s closet. He was a good kisser and man did he know what he was doing. But there was no sparks, no chemistry and so you had let him down easy, giving him a pat on the cheek before walking out of the closet. The two of you never spoke of it again and besides some playful banter and innocent flirting, he never tried anything with you again. 

Sam was a bit more shy about his feelings. He never made a move on you but he was sweet and caring. You considered him to be your best friend. He always listened to you and was always there when you needed him. He gave the best hugs and he was so warm and cuddly that you couldn’t resist when he offered to share a bed with you or let him fall asleep on his lap in the car. To you, it was all just friendly but Sam pined for something he could never have with you. You hated that he was friend zoned and you wished you could have felt something for him but it just wasn’t meant to be and you hoped one day he could get over it. 

No, when it came to crushes, yours was by far the worst. You had pined after John for years and you were sure by now he had to have picked up on it. You were surprised that it wasn’t obvious to everyone at this point. Now that you were eighteen, you upped your flirting game. You were once an innocent teenager who had no shot with such an older man. But now you were a young woman and you were determined to get what you wanted. And you wanted John. 

At first, he wasn’t sure how to handle your advances. A brow would always raise and he’d eye you curiously. Gentle touches against his arms or chest, light whispers against his ear, sultry smiles. When you stopped to eat, you made sure to sit next to him, touch your leg against his or run a finger over his knee. Unlike other boys you had done such bold things with, John never flinched or jumped at your touch. He accepted it quietly, every now and then throwing you a warning glare that honestly was far from intimidating. Eventually, he just accepted your flirtations as the norm and it frustrated you that he didn’t acknowledge you one way or the other. 

For so long, he had only seen you as a little girl. You had spent so much time with his sons that perhaps he couldn’t see you as anything more than another one of his children. These thoughts deflated your hope to ever win his heart. But you never gave up. You would prove to him that you were a strong independent young woman worthy of his time. So instead of flirting, you amped up your training, sure that hunting was the way to this man’s heart. If you proved yourself as a powerful hunter, that was sure to show him that you worth a second glance. 

Unfortunately, if you wished to train, you were going to have to ask one of the other two Winchesters. Your shoulders slumped as you stood before the boy’s motel room and you let out a defeated sigh. But before you could even knock, the door flung open and an angry, crying Sam pushed past you. You spun on your heels to watch him walk away, your face wrinkling in confusion when he didn’t even bother to look back or say a word to you. When you turned back to the room, John’s face was grim and somber while Dean seemed broken and dazed. You looked between them, concern and fear tugging at your heart. 

When Dean told you the story, you didn’t hesitate to pull the poor boy into your arms. John didn’t say a word but when he caught your eye, he could see the look of disappointment in your gaze. You were as heartbroken as they were but you could see the majority of the weight was crushing John. He gathered up his leather jacket and you watched as he made his exit, running your fingers through Dean’s hair as the door slammed shut. A sigh passed your lips as you rested your head against Dean’s and allowed him to find comfort in you until he fell asleep. 

John didn’t return that night and you laid awake for hours with Dean in your arms. You had tried sending Sam texts, calling him and never receiving an answer. You found tears of your own sliding down your cheeks and when sobs began to wrack your body, you felt Dean’s arms tighten around you. Holding each other as if you were each other’s lifeline, you managed to fall asleep. It was the early morning hours when the slamming of the room door and a form fumbling about the room knocking things over and cursing woke the two of you. 

You sat up, Dean still attached to you like a baby koala. You both seemed shocked to see the drunk known as John Winchester slumped in a chair, half drunken whiskey bottle in his hand and a stupid grin on his face. Your eyes narrowed at him before you pulled yourself from Dean’s grip. His hands reached out for you to try and make you stay but your attention was locked on his father. You came to stand right in front of the Winchester Patriarch, glaring down at him as he peered up at you with hazy eyes. 

The bottle was ripped from his grasp and in a fit of rage, you tossed it across the room. Both Winchesters jumped and eyed where the bottle broke against the wall. Your resolve never faltered as you brought your fingers to grip around the collar of his shirt and yank him closer as you bent over him. “You think alcohol will solve all your problems, John? You think a bottle of whiskey is gonna bring your son back? Guess what, you son of a bitch, it’s your fault he’s gone and you’re the one that told him not to come back. So you can either drown yourself in whiskey or you can at least try and be a father to the son you have left.” Once you growled, you tossed him back and released your grip on him. 

He blinked a few times as you straightened yourself and he was right not to say a word in response. A quick glance was tossed over your shoulder to check on Dean who was staring at you with the same look of shock and wonder that his father had. You were actually quite proud of yourself and smirked faintly before your expression calmed and you looked down at John again. You issued your next command with a stern voice. “Go take a shower. You smell like shit.” You kicked the side of his boot before you turned to climb back into the bed beside Dean. Laying on your side, the look between father and son went unnoticed. A shiver caused your body to twitch and reaching out a hand you grabbed Dean’s arm and pulled it around you. He had no choice but to lay down and form himself against your back, holding you tight to his chest as your eyes closed. 

Things were tense between you and John after that. He rode you harder on hunts, yelling more and pushing you to your limits. It was you that received the brunt of his anger and most of the blame if something went wrong. Now that Sam was gone, you were expected to pick up the slack. You were nowhere near as good of a hunter or researcher as the youngest Winchester and you found yourself quickly falling behind. Dean tried his best to help you out, show you the ropes and help you get research done. But it was never good enough for John. He seemed to become more rigid and tough, coming down on both you and Dean with a vengeance. You didn’t know what either of you had done to deserve this but it was starting to become too much. 

Requesting a room for yourself had aggravated the older man but he hadn’t denied you. Some space from the men would be good for you, allow you to take some much needed you time. It would also allow you to cry in peace. You took a bath that night, enjoying the lavender smelling bubbles and hot water against your bruised and aching skin. You almost fell asleep in the water until the knocking on the bathroom door jostled you from your momentary daydreaming. Your brow wrinkled and you quickly covered yourself as best you could with the remaining bubbles as the door slowly opened. 

You were surprised to see Dean but he brought a warm smile to your face. He returned the smile and sat down on the toilet seat, resting his elbows on his knees. The two of you had gotten close since Sam left, having only each other to lean on and confide in. Dean was nothing like the teenager he used to be. He was a kind hearted and soft young man who had potential for greatness and you admired him for that. You could see the dark bags under his eyes and the fact that his emerald orbs were bloodshot and glazed over caused you to frown, a clear sign that he had been drinking. 

Your hand reached out to take one of his and you squeezed your delicate fingers around his long calloused digits. His eyes lifted to meet yours as he smiled in appreciation. There was silence for a moment as you stared at one another, fingers interlocked as you merely enjoyed each other’s presence. With a contented sigh, you allowed your eyes to close. The silence continued until you felt Dean begin to move. You didn’t even have time to open your eyes before his lips were on yours. For a moment, you weren’t sure what to do. When his hand moved to rest against your cheek, you allowed yourself to relax into his kiss and return it. 

You cupped his face, bringing him closer to deepen the kiss and he groaned softly against your lips. It started out gentle and emotional but quickly grew heated and passionate. It didn’t take him long to undress himself, barely breaking the kiss as he did so. You shifted slightly in the tub as he climbed in to hover over you. His hand rested on the edge of the tub to hold him up as his tongue tangled with yours. Lost in the moment, you felt yourself lay back to allow him in between your legs. His lips moved down your jaw, a moan escaping you as wet kisses were planted down your neck. You could feel his hardness brush against your stomach and when the desire became to great, your hips lifted and you wrapped your legs around his waist. 

The mixture of your moans and the sloshing of the water echoed in the tiny motel bathroom. The sounds of wet sloppy kisses only added to the erotic ambiance. Only aware of each other and the movement of your bodies, you paid no mind to room outside. You hadn’t heard the door open between the conjoining rooms. You hadn’t heard the heavy footfalls of boots stomping across the grungy orange carpet. It wasn’t until the door flung open that you and Dean broke apart with squeal. Two pairs of wide eyes rose to see the red face of one John Winchester. 

You did your best to cover yourself as Dean only stared his father down. “What the fuck, dad? Ever heard of knocking?” The boy instantly regretted his backtalk when he saw the fire in his father’s eyes. 

“Get your clothes and get the fuck out, boy.” The last word came out as a snarl as John pointed a finger out the door and made enough room for his son to pass. 

“But dad--” Dean began but John barked the order once again and the Winchester looked at you apologetically before climbing out of the tub. He quickly scooped up his discarded clothes and sprinted from the room and into his own room. 

That left you soapy and naked and rather aroused in a tiny space with John Winchester, the object of your affection for years. You licked your lips as you tried not to look him in the eye, still trying to cover yourself with your arms and what little bubbles were left. John hadn’t said anything since Dean ran off and his staring was starting to make you squirm. Your body began to tremble, the water having gone cold without realizing it. The feeling of cloth against your shoulder caused you to look up.

Finally having caught your eye, John towered over you extending a towel in your direction. You swallowed hard as a hand reached out timidly to take the towel. “Thanks.” You whispered and he simply nodded his head before turning his back to allow you the privacy to climb from the tub. Your eyes roamed over his figure, tense with an anger you didn’t understand. Once you had lifted yourself to stand in the tub, the towel was wrapped around your body and you lifted your leg to step over the edge. Your foot hit the shower mat but your other foot slipped causing you to let out a squeal as you stumbled forward. 

His hunter reflexes quickly set in and before you could blink, John had turned around swiftly and caught you in his arms before you could plummet to the tile. You quickly became aware of the fact that his arms were snaking around you and holding you close and he was staring at you intently. It wasn’t until you began to feel dizzy that you took a breath. His tongue slowly rolled over his bottom lip, his eyes locked on yours as he helped you stand on your own two feet. He didn’t let you go and you watched as his eyes fell to your parted lips.

You didn’t know what to do. Your hands were resting against his biceps and you dared not move them. You didn’t try to bring yourself closer but didn’t move away either. You were locked in the magnetic orbit of the Winchester patriarch. Your breaths were shaky and the silence was driving you mad. You wished he would either kiss you or let you go. Sadly, the latter was what he chose. Clearing his throat, he took a step back, unwinding his arms from around you. Your hands slid down to his forearms as only his fingertips remained on your hips. 

A crooked smile pulled at the corner of his mouth and you couldn’t help the blush that burned in your cheeks. You still weren’t sure why he had come in here or why he had driven Dean away. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care but now you just didn’t want him to leave. You could feel as his fingers started to pull away, his feet taking another half step back toward the door. Your fingers tightened around his arm and in an attempt to stall his departure, you finally spoke. “Why did you come over, John?” His eyes seemed to open with what looked like nervousness. “Did you need something?” 

His head slowly shook and before you could stop him, he had released you and turned to make his exit. Your hand clung to the towel around you as you sprinted out the door after him. “John!” The sound of his name off your lips caused him to stop. You watched as his head hung slightly, his shoulders lifting with an intake of breath. His back remained to you and he only turned his head a bit to glance over his shoulder at you. Your expression soft and warm and you took a few steps forward hoping not to cause him to run again. 

“I can’t.” He muttered softly before pushing open the door into his room and closing it behind him. You contemplated going after him but since he was sharing a room with Dean, you thought it better to just give him some time. 

The silence in your room gave you plenty of time to think as you got dressed. You hadn’t even realized that the night shirt you packed was one of Dean’s old shirts that went all the way to your thighs. You sighed wondering what this meant for you and Dean and what it meant for you and John. Even though you knew you had a better shot at starting something with Dean. John was out of your reach. He would never want you in that way, whereas Dean had proved that he was more than willing and available for you. It was times like this, you really missed Sam. Not that having him in the picture would help the Winchester love triangle at all. A loud groan escaped your lips before you fell backwards onto the bed, exasperated by everything around you. 

Before you knew it, you were being awoken from a restless slumber by a hard pounding on your door. You groaned, rolling over onto your stomach and shoving your head under your pillow. You were far from ready to face the world and the Winchesters. The pounding stopped for a moment before you heard the sound of the lock rattling and you knew Dean would have it open at any second. But you couldn't care less. You just closed your eyes and held the pillow tighter over your head. 

When the door swung open, you heard the lighter steps of the oldest Winchester son move across the floor, surely heading toward you. Another groan erupted from you as you felt your duffle bag fall on top of you. You growled and pushed the bag onto the bed beside you before tossing the pillow off your head. Hair all bed messed and wavy, your eyes glowered at the source of your sudden discomfort. He simply gave you a smirk and slapped a firm hand against your ass causing you to squeal. “Time to get up, sweet cheeks. We’re leavin’ in ten.” 

“Ugh!” The covers were pulled back over your head as you rubbed a hand over your now sore ass cheek. You mumbled something under your breath and the silence of the room gave you a false sense of security. When you didn’t get up, you let out a sigh before a hand smacked against your other cheek. “Dean!” The blanket was tossed off of you and you leapt from the bed, tackling the boy to the ground. 

He was all laughs as his hands lifted to try to restrain you or keep you from hitting him. You were straddling his hips, flailing about trying to get him pinned and you couldn’t help but giggle. The entrance of the oldest Winchester caused you both to freeze and turn to look at him. John’s gaze was hard and his expression untelling. WIthout a word, he turned on his heels and walked out, shutting the door behind him. The both of you let out a breath before Dean leaned up and pressed his lips to yours. 

You smiled into the kiss, your arms moving to wrap around his neck as his arms squeezed around your waist. You could do this. You could be with Dean. He was soft and sweet, a bit rough and tumble, but he was sensitive at times and he was a damn good kisser with those plump pink lips of his. The two of you sat on the floor and kissed for a while before John pounded a fist on the door and told you to hurry it up. “Don’t wanna keep daddy waiting.” You called out loud enough before giggling with a shake of your head. You gave Dean a quick peck on the lips before grabbing your things and heading into the bathroom to change. 

It was only a few minutes later when you walked out of your room, smiling when Dean was right outside the door waiting to take your bag along with your hand. Though you were concerned to show such affection in front of John, the oldest Winchester seemed to ignore the two of you completely from his spot behind the wheel. This angered you for some reason, wishing that he would get angry like he had the night before instead of not caring at all. With a huff, you opened the back door while Dean tossed your bag in the trunk. 

“You’re up front, sweetheart.” John’s gruff voice broke the brief uncomfortable silence, his eyes catching yours in the rearview mirror. Your head tilted with confusion, your mouth opening to say something but quickly closing when his eyes hardened. You knew you weren’t to argue so you simply nodded your head and climbed back out of the car. 

You were met with Dean on the other side, both of you reaching for the door handle at the same time. Dean smirked bringing himself closer to you for a second before you pushed a hand against his chest. “Your dad said I was sitting up front.” Dean’s brow wrinkled and you knew he was about to argue. But with a batting of your lashes and nibbling lightly on your bottom lip, he grinned and moved to the door behind you. A girly squeal of victory made Dean shake his head with a laugh and steal a kiss before climbing into the back. John’s body was rigid, eyes locked ahead as you slid in next to him. The smile you had before quickly faded and you were suffocated by the thick tension that grew in the car. Without a word, the Impala was thrown in gear and John quickly pulled out of the lot and you were back on the open road again. 

It wasn’t long before both you and Dean were curled up against the leather seats asleep. Both of you had clearly had a restless night and the soft sounds of the radio and the purr of the engine knocked you out quickly. You weren’t in the most comfortable of positions, your head bobbing from side to side with each turn, bump, or dip in the road. A sudden jostle made your head fall forward, waking you with a groan. Your hand rubbed the back of your neck and your face twisted in pain and annoyance. 

The chuckle was faint but you heard it and when you turned your head, John was staring at the road with a grin on his face and one hand on the wheel. You scowled at him and his smirk only seemed to grow. You heaved a sigh and turned so your back was too him and tried to get comfortable again. It was as if he were trying to hit the bumps on purpose. This time you felt yourself slide off the seat. Glancing over the back of your seat, you saw Dean out like a light, wishing you could sleep that heavy. The light touch against your back seemed to jostle you more than the bumpy road. Your head shot around, your eyes going wide when you saw that John was reaching out to you. 

“Why don’t you just lay down, sweetheart?” His hand patted his thigh softly before stretching his arm out over the back of the seat. You eyed him curiously as your heart began to race. He cast a quick glance at you, his expression unreadable. “I ain’t gonna bite. Well, not unless you want me to.” And he dared wink at you before he turned his attention back to the road. Now you were really confused, the air sucked violently from your lungs. After a moment, he looked at you again, his face seemingly fallen as he removed his arm from the leather. “Suit yourself. Just thought you’d be more comfortable.”

Your hand reached out to wrap around his leather clad forearm, causing him to pause. Your eyes caught his, a look of intensity that changed the atmosphere around the two of you. You cast a glance back at the slumbering boy in the back seat before you moved to lay your head on John’s thigh. You could feel his muscles tense and you let out a breath before you wrapped his arm around your shoulders, his calloused fingers touching the bare skin of your arm. The simple touch sent sparks through your entire body and you sucked in a shaky breath as your eyes closed. You didn’t dare to look at him so you just laid there, staring down at his feet that worked the petals. 

Silence fell and when your body finally relaxed you were able to drift back to sleep. The quiet hum from John’s lips, a tune you didn’t recognize, seemed to lull you to a peaceful slumber when mixed with the engine. His own body seemed to relax and his hand moved to rest on your hip. It seemed inappropriate to be in this position with Dean in the back seat. But what was your relationship to the young man now? The Winchester boy was not known to carry on a steady relationship, leaving a trail of satisfied women with broken hearts throughout the country. And just because his eyes were set on you this week, didn’t mean it was anything serious that would be long term. He staked no claim on you. Sure, he was fun and sweet but your heart had always belonged to John. 

It was quite the predicament you had gotten yourself in. And you would have to deal with it sooner or later. But for now, you could only focus on the light circles John was drawing on your hip. It was a lazy movement that you weren’t even sure he was conscious of but it brought a smile to your face. His touch was warm and in that moment, you couldn’t think of a place you’d rather be. It was several hours later when you finally awoke again, but this time you were laying on John’s shoulder and both of his hands were on the wheel. Dean was awake in the back and you could feel his fingers playing with your hair. You hummed before stretching and letting out a yawn as you sat up. 

A smile grew on Dean’s face when he saw you awake. You gave him the best smile you could muster before turning your eyes to John, your hands resting on your lap, one leg tucked underneath you. “Are we stopping soon? My stomach and bladder are alerting me that it’s time to stop.” 

John chuckled softly and nodded his head. “There’s a town ten miles ahead. We’ll pull in for the night. Grab some grub and a motel room.” You beamed and your arm came to rest on the back of the bench seat. Dean took this opportunity to take your hand and interlock your fingers. It was a strange action, especially for someone like Dean. It wasn’t the first time you had ever held Dean’s hand but things were different now and it just seemed...strange. Trying not to hurt his feelings, you pulled your hand away slowly and rested it back on your lap before leaning over to kiss his cheek. That seemed to ease the look of hurt in his eyes and the soft smile on your lips transfered over to his face as well before he sat back. 

When the car finally stopped, you darted into the diner and straight toward the bathroom causing the men to giggle. They were seated by the time you came out and you were faced with a new dilemma and you had to make your choice quick because it wouldn’t take long to reach the booth. Dean sat on one side, making room on the bench next to him and John sat on the opposite bench with a space beside him as well. You kicked yourself for allowing this to happen and with a sigh, you plastered on a smile and slid in next to Dean. He grinned and rested his arm behind you, fingers touching your arm lightly. 

John seemed unfazed by your decision, too interested in the menu in his hands. You kicked your feet up and utilized the empty space next to the oldest Winchester and crossed your ankles. His eyes lifted with a quirk of his brow, the corner of his mouth curling every so slightly in amusement. “Comfortable?” He asked with that deep husky voice of his that never failed to give you goosebumps. You gave him a cheeky grin and nodded curtly before you picked up your own menu to give it a look over, even though every diner in the country always had the same food. 

With a burger, fries, and milkshake in front of all of you, your spirits were quickly lifted and your smile brightened your face. Your smile was contagious spreading to the men as you chatted and laughed about anything and everything. Dean had dropped his arm from around your shoulders, utilizing both hands to enjoy his meal. There were plenty of times he nearly choked on his food when you or his dad said something that cracked him up. This was the first time in a long time that you all laughed freely, letting go of the darkness. Not for long but enough to cleanse your souls and allow you to keep up the fight. You just wished Sam was here to see it. 

The thought of Sam brought a bittersweet smile spread on your face and you swirled your straw through your shake. You watched the milkshake ripple and slosh as you thought about the youngest Winchester. You missed him terribly and knew that so did John and Dean. The family just wasn’t complete without him. If he were here, the laughter would be even louder, surely getting them kicked out of the diner. Before you realized it, your eyes had grown misty. The feel of a firm hand against your calf caused you to look up. You were surprised to be met with dark sympathetic eyes from the man across from you. For a moment, the world melted away and you found warmth and solace in the Winchester’s gaze. His hand rubbed up and down your jeaned calf slowly, trying not to make his actions noticeable. 

His eyes moved away from yours and he leapt right back into casual conversation with his son. But his hand moved to slide up under the leg of your jeans. His warm calloused digits were now languidly rubbing against the smooth skin of your leg and it was sending shivers throughout your entire body. He was making it hard to focus, definitely making it difficult to breathe. Thankfully, Dean was oblivious, too concerned with the conversation about cars and motorcycles to pay any attention to you and what his father was doing to you. 

You weren’t sure what had gotten into John and where this sudden desire to show affection came from. He had never touched you like this before, he barely ever touched you at all. And now he was so tender and gentle and it was making your heart flutter. You never would have imagined he would have any interest in the snot nose kid that his boys grew up with. Perhaps your fling with Dean was enough to make him crack. Surely, he couldn’t be jealous of his oldest son. He knew better than anyone that you were never interested in either of the boys. But now you had ...something going on with Dean. And knowing the oldest boy, you weren’t going to talk about it until it was over. 

John’s tongue slid slowly over his bottom lip, an action you didn’t miss at all. You chewed on the corner of your mouth as you watched him closely. He was doing things slow and deliberately just to get your attention, see what he could get away with. Flashing you a sly smile, he removed his hand from your leg causing you to frown at the loss of contact. He was being a tease and two could play at that game. Your foot moved to rest your foot across his thigh, an action that also brought your knee closer to Dean’s. The motion of rubbing your foot against him also caused you to rub your knee against Dean which hid your true intentions rather well. 

Dean’s hand rested on your knee, the added warmth causing you to suck in a tight breath. John shifted uncomfortably in his seat, scooting over a little to give you better reach. Your eyes were on the Winchester patriarch, your bottom lip pinned between your teeth as your foot glided slowly up and down his inner thigh. The touch of the younger man moved from your knee to slide up your thigh and you let out an involuntary whimper. Both men shot a glance at you and you quickly dropped your feet. “I think it’s time to go, yeah?” With cheeks bright red, you quickly rose from your seat and hugging your jacket around you, you exited the diner without a look back. 

You were already huddled in the back seat of the Impala when Dean and John left the restaurant. They both eyed you curiously but didn’t question you as they slid into the car. Your heart was racing and thoughts were moving a mile a minute. All you wanted was a hot shower to clear your head and a warm bed to get some real sleep. “Can I get my own room again?” You asked timidly, John casting a glance in the rearview and giving you a nod. You let out a sigh of relief, your arms hugging around yourself as your eyes drifted out the window. 

John went into the office this time to check you all in, leaving you alone in the car with Dean. Turning around in his seat, he rested an arm on the bench and looked back at you with concern. “Are you okay? If this is--” His finger gestured between the two of you, his emerald orbs searching your dazed stare. Ashamed of how you had been behaving, your head lowered and Dean offered a sad smile. “Hey, it’s ok. It was fun. But I don’t expect anything from ya.” His hand patted you gently on the knee and he turned around the moment the door opened once again. 

You and the oldest Winchester man exchanged a brief look, your fingers barely touching as he handed you your key card. There was a moment of pause before he finally let go and you reached for the door handle. A quiet scoff could be heard passing through Dean’s lips and you caught his eyes. There was a twinge of hurt there and he clearly had figured out what was going on but he didn’t say a word, just climbed out to gather the things from the trunk. 

You didn’t speak as you took your bag from Dean, giving him an apologetic look. He just smiled and kissed your forehead before he headed to his room. When you turned around, you almost squeaked when you were face to face with John. His face was solemn and a hand lifted to trail the back of his fingers feather light down your arm. You watched him closely, your eyes never leaving his face and your breath caught in your chest. “I’m not interested in Dean.” You stuttered out before you had a chance to stop yourself. 

His eyes locked with yours, a hint of shock and relief etched in his features. But then a frown wrinkled his face and you tilted your head at the sudden change. His hand dropped, sliding both of his hands into his jacket pocket and eyes pointed at the floor. “You should be.” Your eyes narrowed, looking at him in confusion. “He’s more your age, more your type. He’s a good kid.”

At his words, you swallowed your fear and stepped closer to him, your hand coming to brush lightly against his face. “You’re right about that. He is all those things.” His eyes lifted as your fingers moved softly against his stubble, a faint grin pulling at the corner of your mouth. “But he’s not what I want. He never has been.” He searched your eyes, trying to read what you were trying to say to him. Your other hand came up to rest on the other cheek, his beard like pleasant sandpaper against your thumbs. You had wanted to touch him for so long and now that he was in your grasp, you never wanted to let him go. But there was hesitation in his eyes. 

“You don’t want a grumpy old man like me, sweetheart. I’m set in my ways. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” You chuckled at him, and your fingers slid over his jaw to curl into his dark hair. His eyes closed for a moment to relish the touch. It had been so long since he had been with a woman, years since he had been touched this way. The warmth of your tiny digits emitted your love and affection for him and when he opened his eyes, your gaze was tender and compassionate. You didn’t expect anything of him. He was the way he was and you had always accepted him that way. Even though he had been extra hard on you recently, you only strived harder to please him. 

Allowing himself to feel, his hands moved to rest on your hips and a soft hum vibrated against your smiling lips. You took your time, let him set the pace. You knew what you wanted and you didn’t want to rush him. You would be here for him when he needed you, when he wanted you. Your hand brushed through his hair in slow soothing strokes. You could feel him tremble lightly, the older man clearly struggling to work through his own emotions. You brought your forehead to rest against his, still carding your fingers through his hair, closing your eyes as you shushed him softly. 

After a few moments, like that his lips finally moved, his voice quiet and gruff. “When I saw you with Dean...I wanted to beat the shit out of him.” You couldn’t help but giggle and his eyes opened to scowl playfully. You apologized and allowed him to continue. His hands moved from your hips to slide around to your lower back, pulling you into him. Your arms folded around his neck and he looked right into your eyes. “I spent so much time telling myself I couldn’t want you. You’re not even 19 yet. I’ve watched you grow up. Seen you mature and become the strong powerful woman you are now.” Your breaths were shaky against his face and a shiver went down your spine when his hand moved up and down the curve of your spine. 

“Sammy’s always had his eye on you. Thought you two would be an item. So when you turned down his advances, it made me wonder.. Then you and Dean…” His face was drawing closer to you, his eyes falling to your lips as his tongue parted his own lips. “I thought I’d be ok seeing you with one of my boys, watching you be happy with one of them. But all I could think about was…” Chocolate orbs searched your face, your silence making him nervous. “All I could think about was how you were...how you were mine.” Another shiver ripped through your body as his gaze intensified. “When Sammy left, I got scared. I pushed you and Dean away. I rode you both hard. But instead of staying down and letting me push you away, you only got stronger and made me want you more.” His hand had moved up to rest on the back of your neck now, fingers tangling in your hair. 

His breath could be felt against your lips and he was so close, he could surely feel the erratic beating of your heart. “God, you shouldn’t want me. You’re so young and have so much life ahead of you. I’m just a mean old drunk who will probably die bloody. You can have any guy you want, one that will treat you right and give you what you deserve. Not drag you all over the country in a classic car, killing monsters.”

 

“And what do you deserve, John Winchester?” Your head tilted with your question, one foot lifting slightly off the ground, your finger twisting around a lock of his hair. “You don’t think as a man who saves the lives of innocents every day deserves to be happy? Deserves to be loved?” Your eyes were kind and gentle as you searched his worn features. “I’ve only ever wanted you, John.” Resting your forehead against his, you breathed out. “It’s always been you.” His lips parted as if to speak but you quickly planted a finger over his mouth. “Sure, it may have started out as a little school girl crush, a teenager with the hots for her best friend’s dad.” Your thumb slid gently over his bottom lip and you watched it before lifting your eyes back to his. “But now. Now, all I think about is you. All I want is you.”

He hung his head almost in shame but he didn’t let you go. He wished he could let you go, let you be happy anywhere else with anyone else. But now that you were in his arms, neither one of you wanted to let go. “Just stop thinking, John, and feel. Let your heart guide you instead of that thick hunter skull of yours.” You giggled and he managed to chuckle lightly, a sound that was always music to your ears. “Age is just a number. And it my eyes, you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever known. Inside and out.” You tucked a finger under his chin and lifted his eyes to yours with a smile. “Whether you believe it or not, you’re a good man. You don’t have to see it but I know what I see, and I wish you could look at yourself through my eyes. I’ve admired you for--”

 

You had more to say but all the words and thoughts evaporated the moment his lips met yours. It was a searing kiss full of need and passion, the kiss of a hungry man desperately craving you. Your arms tightened around him as you brought yourself impossibly closer to him, your head tilting for a better angle. His arms were snug around you, his fingers splaying over your body and keeping you close as he deepened the kiss. It was better than you could have ever imagined. You had wanted this for so long and now that you knew John did too, you felt like you were floating away on a cloud. 

The two of you finally broke the kiss only when breathing was necessary. His hands rose to cup your face, fingers still curled in your hair. He held your gaze as he panted against your face, as if he was searching your eyes for any doubt or hesitation you might have. When he found nothing but a smile and globes full of love, he couldn’t help but break into a grin. The sight caused your heart to flutter and you brought your mouth to his for a tender kiss. His hold on you now was soft as he savored this kiss, taking it slow, his lips learning to move in sync with yours, his tongue tasting every bit of your mouth. Your hands clenched the leather of his jacket around his strong biceps as he held your face, the calloused skin against your smooth flesh only sending more shivers through you. 

“Can we give this a try? You and me?” You giggled at his question, nodding your head before you planted a peck on his lips. Then another, then another, until he was laughing to, arms wrapping around each other before he lifted you off the ground. The wave of happiness that overcame you made you feel lighter than air and as he spun you around you couldn’t think of a better feeling. When your feet touched the ground again, your smiles met again in another loving kiss. “We should get some rest. I should probably have a talk with Dean.” Your face wrinkled at the thought and he tapped a finger against the tip of your nose. “I’ll come over after, okay?” Your body rocked innocently in his arms as you nibbled your lip at the thought of him spending the night with you. His thumb rose to pull your lip from your teeth and you saw the look in his eyes changing from sweet to lustful and the shivers jolted you all the way to your core. “Wait up for me, okay, baby girl?” 

You nibbled your lip again as you nodded your head timidly, your fingers twirling in his hair. Leaning forward with a new wave of confidence, you brought your lips against his ear. “Whatever you say,” You nibbled his earlobe for a minute, feeling what such an action did to him before your voice lowered. “Daddy.” His head shot back and he looked at you with a predatory gaze. You thought maybe you had done something wrong but the bruising kiss he planted on your lips proved that you had done something oh, so right. His hand smacked you on the ass and you jumped with a squeal. 

“You’re bad.” He growled against your lips. 

A satisfied hum vibrated in your chest as you grinned. “Guess you’ll have to punish me later.” You flashed him a wink before you untangled yourself from him. With extra swing in your hips, you tossed a kiss over your shoulder at him. You could see him physically groan and practically melt at your actions and you giggled before disappearing into your room. Leaning your back against the closed door once inside, you couldn’t help the contented sigh that passed your lips and your cheeks were hurting from the power of your smile. You were in love with John Winchester and finally he was yours.


	2. Stargazing

Her beauty never escaped my notice. She had always been an adorable kid and only grew to be a more good looking teenager. The older she got, the more beautiful she became. And since me and the boys spent so much time with her, we got to see just how beautiful she was inside and out. With the spirit of a wild stallion and the heart of an angel, all she had to give was love and compassion. She was so caring and upbeat even in the midst of the worst, she would give this smile that would light up the dark. Watching someone grow up is quite the sight to behold. To see this immature little brat in pigtails grow into this strong independent young lady with womanly curves. 

At first, I cursed myself for even looking at her that way. If anything, she should be attracted to one of my boys. Either one of them would jump at the chance to do anything for her. I could see the adoration and devotion they both held for her. She was more than their sister and even if she could never see it, they loved her. The girl had been through a lot in her life and unlike me she had become stronger and all the more optimistic. Maybe it was just her naive youth or the fact that I tried to shield her as best I could after her dad passed. 

She was barely a teenager when her dad dropped her off at Bobby’s for the day. Her pop was a good guy, a bit of stick in the mud but he did right by his little girl. Me and the boys just happened to be stopping in for a couple days as well. I could tell she took to me right away. The look in those doe eyes of hers gave away every emotion the girl could ever have. Sure, I thought it was cute, a little girl like her barely in the age to start liking boys and she had her eyes on a man old enough to be her father. It’s not unusual for kids to have crushes on the older people in their life so I didn’t say or do anything about it. 

I treated her just like I would if I had a daughter. And she already had the boys wrapped around her finger, fawning over her like she was Aphrodite herself. Though honestly, both Bobby and I were wrapped around her little finger too. That girl had a way of giving you this look, or pouting that lip of hers to get her way. She was a spoiled little thing, rotten but not a brat, definitely more well behaved than my kids. She never complained about the food set before her or the bare state of her room or hard bed. She helped Bobby cook and clean up and when she wasn’t playing with the boys, she was curled up on the couch or on her bed reading a book. That’s probably why her and Sam got along so well. 

When a day turned into a week, it was safe to say that all of us began to get worried about her dad. I had a hunt that I needed to take care of but I promised her I would check up on her dad and let her know. I left the boys to keep her company and headed out but found no trace of him. Even after a few more cases, some with the boys and some solo, when we came back there was still no word from the missing hunter. After two months, we all started to believe that he wasn’t coming back. Whether he was killed on a hunt or just abandoned the little girl, it didn’t matter, he was gone and she was utterly heartbroken. 

The boys didn’t want to leave her like this and begged to stay for a little while longer. But I was starting to go stir crazy staying in one place for too long. And the life of a hunter didn’t ever stop long enough for grief. I had cases, I had a demon to track. As much as I wanted to stay at Bobby’s, he and I were starting to butt heads, not people that could get along too well for long periods of time. To my surprise, I was the one that suggested bringing her with us. Bobby was hell bent against it at first but since he was outnumbered four to one, he conceded and we packed up her things and loaded up into the Impala. 

Her father had taught her some things but as a whole, he had tried to keep her out of hunting. But as a strong thirteen year old, she refused to be left behind. So we trained her. I taught her everything I had taught the boys and the boys helped her train and master her skills. She may have been small but with a quick wit and clever cunning of hers, she would prove to be quite the asset to the team. And having a woman’s touch, no matter how young she was, brought a new air to our existence. She was lighthearted and funny, empathetic and and tentative to each of us, caring for us when she shouldn’t have had to worry about such things. It was easy to say that she was family. 

As time went on, we fell into a comfortable rhythm. Her and the boys would stay behind and look after each other sometimes, while other times they’d join me on some easy hunts where I knew they wouldn’t get hurt. I wasn’t so much worried about Dean. That boy could take care of himself. Sammy always seemed to surprise me. He was short and lanky for so long that when he sprouted he only proved to be quicker and better. And when I put him and her together, they made quite the duo. Even though she could stand on her own too and made sure to prove that fact to me any chance she got. 

Her crush on me became more obvious as time went on. When Dean and Sam started showing interest in her, she didn’t even acknowledge them. She loved them both dearly but it wasn’t them that she had her eye on. I tried not to encourage her but when you spend so much time with someone on the road, it’s hard not to get close. The boys always accused me of playing favorites with her, stopping where she wanted to stop or eating where she wanted to eat. She even got to sit in the front seat from time to time which really got under Dean’s skin. I tried to treat all of them pretty equal though I will confess that it never turned out that way. 

Dean was my soldier, getting the brunt of my anger, receiving the orders and being expected to carry them out and take care of the other two. Sam was the youngest of them all, so he was usually babied much to his dismay. He and I are the ones that butted heads the most. Probably because the kid is so much like me it ain’t even funny. Then there was the little girl. She was different than two teenage boys. She liked to wear dresses and makeup, go out to the mall with the girls and listen to boys bands. She was mocked by the boys but she could kick both their asses if she wanted to. In heels. Even though she was far from fragile, I always treated her as such. It would annoy her, causing fights here and there but in the end she knew I meant the best. She forgave me too easily, always fell in line with me no matter if she agreed or not. I know that her crush had a lot to do with her obedience but it was innocent so I never nipped it in the bud. 

I had different things I enjoyed doing with each of them though. I made time to spend what little free time we had either as a whole or individually. There was a couple times I’d take them out to a nice dinner instead of some greasy diner or take them out to a movie they all wanted to see. When it was just me and Dean, I’d leave Sammy and the girl to entertain themselves at the motel which usually involved reading or puzzles. I’d take Dean out to the gun range and shoot a few targets or we’d go sit by the lake and fish in silence. Dean and I never did talk much but the bond was there more than with the other two. 

Sammy was a little harder to find something in common with. Finally after a few tries, we learned we were best off just hitting a gym. Nothing like sweating your ass off to bond a man and his son. Sam liked to talk more than his brother but all I really had to do was listen because he could talk your ear off. I loved to listen to him though. He was a smart kid with lots of knowledge to share and even though I never had anything to say in response, he knew I was hearing every word he said. 

But when my little girl’s night came along, that’s when my favoritism was clear. She never asked much of me. I never had to spend any money or go out of my way to find a store or restaurant. All she wanted was to drive out of the city, away from all the lights and busy people and park out in the middle of nowhere. She’d climb up on the hood of the Impala and stare up at the stars. She would look so serene, a genuine smile on her face as the stars twinkled back in her eyes. She’d point out the constellations and planets, her voice but a whisper as she told the stories of how the stars got their names and the legends that led to the formation of constellations. 

It was moments like that where I struggled not to stare. I know her old man would kill me if he saw the way I looked at her. She was not even 18 yet but she was matured far beyond her years. But that didn't make it ok, and I struggled with myself for a long time. She always fell asleep on my shoulder on the nights we went stargazing and I would slide off the hood, pick her up and lay her in the front seat before climbing in behind the wheel. She'd wiggle about for a minute trying to get comfortable before she would lay her head on my thigh. I'd fight the urge to play with her hair and smile when she would hum happily when I finally gave in and ran my fingers through her soft locks. At that moment, we were both happy. 

The week before her 18th birthday was when things really started to heat up. Since she was going to legally be an adult, she was laying the charm on thick. I noticed but tried by best to ignore it. I knew she was frustrated with my lack of acknowledgement but it didn’t dissuade her. The flirting and touching that were barely there a year or so ago became more bold. I would be lying if I said she wasn’t driving me crazy. It was hard not to flirt back or just to touch her even if it was just a hug or high five. But I couldn’t encourage her. It was time I put a stop to her little crush. Just because she was nearly an adult didn’t mean that we could be together. No matter how much she wanted me, it just wasn’t right and I wouldn’t let it happen. No matter how bad she made me want her too. 

When Sam left, I took it pretty hard. It was my fault he left and I had told him not to come back. I know Dean was mad at me but he wouldn’t say anything. I was glad she was there for him, able to comfort him where I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to go out, I had every intention of staying in, having some whiskey and watching bad late night TV. But seeing my son in her arms made being there so much harder. She was upset with me as well and they had found solace with each other. I was alone with no one there to hold me while I cried. So I went to the bar instead. 

How I got back to the motel, I’ll never know but the Impala was parked outside so I must have driven. Probably one of my many mistakes that night. I didn’t want to wake the kids but in my inebriated state, it was hard to keep quiet. The moment she stood up, I knew I was about to get an earful. Usually, I wouldn’t put up with her smart mouth. I’d say one word and she would always sit down and shut up. But this time, she didn’t allow me to say anything. My heart began to race, nearly sobering me up the moment she yanked me to her by my collar. She didn’t hold back and she didn’t bat an eye. She told it to me straight and even looked smug about it afterward. I was in a daze for a moment but when she told me to shower, I simply nodded and trudged toward the bathroom, looking back just in time to see her crawl back into bed with my son.

Things were rough after that. She and Dean got closer, forming a team against me. I never felt more alone. It was my own fault but didn’t make it hurt any less. So instead of expressing my pain and dealing with my hurt, I took it out on them, riding them harder, pushing them faster, yelling louder. They could either give up and leave me to go their own way since they were both adults. Or they would become the best damn hunters this world had ever seen. I would rather they hate me, let their anger fuel them to greatness than appear weak to them. There were no more special days, no more nights out as a family or special one on one times. No conversations or bonding. It was only about the job. If they wanted to do anything fun, they did it together on their own time. I was no longer their friend, I was their drill sergeant. 

This didn’t sit well with either of them but it didn’t deter them. They only fought hard and strived for success, making me proud. They were surviving and even though they didn’t now, they would thank me later. But until later came, she would ask to stay in a separate room. Which I never gave much argument to. She was a girl and had girl things to take care of. She was too old to be sharing a room with a couple of grown ass men. She needed her privacy and I wasn’t about to deny her that privilege. 

That night the hunt had gone well enough. But I just needed some time alone. As did the kids. We each went our separate ways and I figured we’d all just see each other in the morning. WHen I left, Dean was getting ready to jump into bed with a beer and probably some porn and our girl had excused herself for a shower in her room next to ours. I on the other hand had contemplated going to a bar, having a few drinks maybe taking some bar wench into the back of the Impala for a good time. But the moment I set out on that road, I just kept driving. The Impala brought me down an old dirt road outside of town where the sky was visible all around. 

With a smile on my face, I parked the car in a field of overgrown grass and climbed up onto the hood. My hands rested behind my head, I made myself comfortable and turned my sights to the stars. It wasn’t the same doing it by myself but it was peaceful. The soft breeze cleared my mind, the smell drowning out the musky scent from my jacket. The stars twinkled and blinked and I wished I knew what each of their names were. My girl would know. If she would have been there, she would be spouting out names left and right, talking my ear off about all her astronomy mumbo jumbo. The thought brought a smile to my face, the first real smile I had in months. All because of her. 

That time under the stars gave me plenty of time to think and rethink and think again. I don’t know how long I was out there on the hood of that old car but when I finally decided to leave, I knew exactly what I needed to do. I drove back faster than I should have but I just had so much going on in my head, I wanted to get to her before I lost my nerve. It was insane and probably the last thing I should be doing but I needed her, I wanted her. And if she made me happy, what was the harm in that. I saw the way she looked at me, a look that made my heart race. I wanted more than anything to put a smile on her face instead of making her miserable just because I was miserable. 

When I got back to the motel, Dean was nowhere to be found and when I knocked on the door, no one answered in her room either. Figuring she was already asleep, I let myself in and was surprised to see that she wasn’t in bed. That’s when I heard the sounds coming from the bathroom. My heart sank when I recognized the noises coming from behind the closed door. A battle raged within me. Do I open the door or do I just walk away. Whoever she was with probably deserved her more than I did. And whoever it was seemed to be making her feel good by the way she was moaning for him. The longer I stood there and listened the more my heart ached until I couldn’t take it anymore. 

Dean was the last person I expected to see when I opened that door. They were both soapy and wet, as naked as they day they were born. For a moment, I stood in shock and then the rage took over. Dean dared to mouth off but he quickly learned his lesson and it only took one order for him to get out of there. I couldn’t even look at him and I wondered how I was gonna face him once I came back to the room. I surely couldn’t punish him. He was a big boy and she was a grown woman. They had every right to be together and honestly they should have been. But I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t allow it. But that wasn’t something I could easily explain to either of them. 

I made sure to turn my back once I handed her a towel, saving some of her decency from Winchester eyes. I could hear her climbing out of the tub, the sloshing of water and the soft padding of her feet against the tile. She hadn’t even gotten out a squeal before I spun around to catch her in my arms. She was still wet but she was soft and warm and for a moment I was frozen. Our eyes were locked and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. But after what I just saw, I thought maybe she had gotten over her crush after all. I could see the disappointed look on her face as I released her arms, just my fingertips barely grazing her. She looked like a dejected puppy as her arms fell along with her gaze to the floor. She was adorable and I couldn’t help but smile. And that blush? Only made her that much more appealing. 

I took a step back and I felt her fingers grab ahold of me and my heart stopped. Now that she questioned my reason of storming in here, I had nothing to say. I probably looked like a fucking deer in headlights, nervousness actually taking over my gut. The way she looked at me was too much and I quickly fled like the coward I am. She ran after me and the pain in her voice was enough to stop me in my tracks. She seemed hopeful as she came closer, trying to keep my vision off her as I looked over my shoulder. “I can’t.” I didn’t even turn back before I opened the door and stormed out. 

Dean and I didn’t speak the rest of the night. I sent him out for breakfast and that was the most words exchanged. He wasn’t gone long enough and when he returned I sent him to wake up the girl. My voice was stern and cold, void of all emotion, more for my sake than his. I loaded up the car and got us all settled when I looked at my watch. The two of them still hadn’t come out. When I opened the door, I found them on the floor together. I didn’t say anything just glared at them before walking out again. I heard her words and at the sound of ‘daddy’ from her lips, I felt a shock briefly course through my body. I growled softly before taking my place behind the wheel. 

When they finally emerged, it was a disgusting display. Dean was acting like a middle schooler with his first girlfriend and I had never been more jealous of my own son. I stood up and informed her that she was sitting up front with me, an argument she easily got out of with Dean. It was those damn puppy eyes of hers. They’ll get you every time.I was just glad to have them separated, even if it was just a small distance. It wasn’t long before they were both sound asleep and all I could hear around me was the sound of the engine and soft snores mingled with the low drumming of some AC/DC. 

The sight of her struggling to get comfortable brought a soft smile to my face. She was trying so hard to stay upright but every time she drifted off she would fall over and jolt herself awake. There were a few times I had to stifle a laugh. I finally put her out of her misery and offered her a solution. At first she was hesitant and I thought maybe I had crossed a line. I tested the waters with just a little bit of flirting and she seemed to be in a complete daze. I could understand her surprise, I had never flirted with her, especially not so boldly. Finally I decided to take it back but she quickly took the invitation and laid her head on my lap. There was that content sigh passing through her lips as she draped my arm over her. I couldn’t help the goofy grin on my face, my fingers leaving feather light touches on her flesh. 

I could feel her finally drift off to sleep leaving me in a state of contentment myself. I hummed quietly, no tune in particular just sounds to go along with my crooked grin. I was too old to be feeling like this but I couldn’t help it. She made me feel young again. My hand moved down her arm of his own free will, my fingers splaying over her hip bone. My breathing picked up slightly as my thumb moved lazily against her. I relaxed and continued with my tune, being like this with her seeming like the most natural thing in the world. But when Dean started to stir an hour or so later, I removed my hand from her and it was easy to readjust her to lay on my shoulder. A completely innocent position and yet still allowed for her to be close to me, touching me in some way as I continued the drive down the lonely highway. The only downside to having her sitting up was that Dean could touch her too. As much as I hated it, he rubbed her shoulders or played with her hair until she decided to wake up. I’m sure they didn’t pick up on it, but my body tensed and I wanted to make him take his hands off her and lay my claim but I remained silent. 

When we finally stopped for the night, food was the first thing on all of our minds. Of course, once we all got settled at the diner and into the booth, we all easily fell into conversation, sharing laughs together that we hadn’t in so long. It felt good, just the three of us hanging out. I could see when her mind drifted though. It was clear she was thinking about Sam by the tears welling in her eyes. The touch started out to be innocent, a comforting hand against her calf. But the moment our eyes met, we both felt the electricity of the simple touch. She may have chosen to sit next to Dean but the moment her feet propped up on the bench next to me, I decided to test just how far she’d let me go. I couldn’t help the smirk on my lips as my fingers moved across her jeans. Dean didn’t have a clue, thinking that perhaps she was playing with him instead of his dad sitting right across the way. The feeling was exhilarating, watching her features twist as she tried to remain calm under my teasing fingers. 

Things escalated a lot quicker than I had planned. When I removed my hand just to tease her, I hadn’t expected for her to kick things up a notch. I nearly hit my knees on the table when I felt her foot on my inner thigh. My wide eyes shot over to her, a new surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins and all she could do was grin and nibble on that damn bottom lip. I let her carry on her teasing, my jeans starting to get uncomfortable. Her involuntary whimper caused both Dean and I to freeze and look at her. Her cheeks were bright red and her foot fell immediately and she suggested it was time to go. Maybe that was a good idea. 

I hated to leave the two of them in the car to check into the motel. But when I got back with our room keys, there seemed to be a different atmosphere between the two of them. At first, I wanted to ask but the slight tension caused me to keep my mouth shut. But the moment they climbed out of the car and moved to the trunk, I could see what was going on. I couldn’t help but smile even though I should probably feel bad that my son got hurt in the process. But he’d get over it soon enough. The moment they were done talking, I was right there when she turned around. I tried not to let my emotions show on my face and the list of emotions I was feeling in that moment was quite extensive.

When I finally got to kiss her, really truly hold her in my arms and take her breath away, it was the most powerful and magical feeling that I had ever felt. The words that came out of my mouth seemed so pathetic and I didn’t even recognize my own voice. This was all so high school and I was decades older than her and yet she made me feel not a day over twenty five. I knew I had to talk to Dean though. If I wanted this with her, I was going to have to work out what this meant for the three of us. I didn’t want things to be awkward and I didn’t want to push him away anymore. I had already lost one son and the last thing I wanted to do was drive Dean away as well. So I reluctantly released the girl of my dreams to head to my room. But not until she tortured me a little bit more with those luscious lips speaking words that went straight to my groin. I watched her saunter off, biting my lip to stifle the groan that those hips brought to the surface. The moment her door closed, I rushed to my room. 

It would take a while for Dean to adjust to the new arrangement. He wasn’t fond of the idea of his best friend and his dad but he knew he had no choice. All he had to do was look at the two of us and know that this was what we wanted. It was weird, hell, not just for him but for all three of us. I hadn’t been with a woman in years especially not someone as young and inexperienced as Y/N. She was so soft and fragile, I was afraid that I would break her. I still had a lot of fears and doubts going in but now that I finally was giving into my feelings for her, I had never felt better. Finally, when we had enough man to man, Dean decided to turn in and sent me out with a wave of his hand. 

The moment I knocked on her door, a surge of nerves knotted up my stomach. I was finally going to do this, finally going to have her. When the door opened and my eyes locked with hers, neither of us could hide the giant smiles that broke apart our faces. As much as I wanted her in that moment, I had other things in mind. I reached out a hand to her. “Come with me.” Her brow wrinkled as she looked down at my hand with confusion. “Come on.” I said again, gesturing my head toward the Impala in the lot behind me. She giggled with a shake of her head but took my hand and with a laugh of my own I drug her out to the car and climbed in after her. 

The ride was quiet as she watched out the window. She wore that beautiful smile that only I could bring out of her. My hand reached out to take hers, tangling our fingers together and the smile only grew. With a yank, I pulled her into my side and wrapped my arm over her shoulders before placing a kiss to the top of her head. She fit against me so perfectly, like she was made to be right here with me. She relaxed into my side, resting her head on my chest as she placed a hand on my chest. Surely she could feel the racing of my heart beneath her tiny digits. The drive wasn’t long but she had fallen asleep against me and when I pulled off the road I had to shake her gently. 

With a quiet groan, she wiped her eyes of sleep and sat up. I smiled down at her, stunned that this adorable woman was mine. “We’re here.” I stated, removing my arm from around her and turning off the engine. I climbed out then offered my hand to help her out. The confusion on her face made me crack up and when she stepped away from the car, I shut the door behind her. 

“Where exactly is here, John?” Her gaze lifted to me and I wore the biggest impish grin on my face. Stepping backwards a few steps, I rested my hands on her hips. She let out a squeal the moment I hoisted her off the ground and set her ass on the hood. Her eyes lit up with the brightest smile I had ever seen on her when it dawned on her what we were doing. Her fingers curled into the collar of my jacket and pulled me between her knees. “You sure know a way to a girl’s heart.” She cooed before placing a sweet kiss on my lips, causing my heart to race again. 

I pulled away, though reluctantly but not for long before I climbed up next to her and laid back against the windshield. One hand resting behind my head, my other arm stretched out to invite her to lay with me. She wasted no time and curled herself against me, her head resting on my arm and her hand resting on my chest. A sigh escaped both of our mouths at the same time and content smiles accompanied our amused chuckles. My fingers rubbed up and down her arm as we stared up at the dark night sky, the stars shining bright as diamonds. There was a comfortable silence for a while before her finger lifted to point out the constellations just like she used to and I grinned. 

 

The life of a hunter is hard, never knowing if you’ll survive one day to the next. It’s always death, blood, and gore, you’ll always lose someone, always have pain and sorrow. It’s not uncommon for hunters to have a drinking problem. What we see every day of our lives is enough to drive even God himself to drinking. It numbs the pain, drowns out reality even if it's just for a few short hours. But it helps us to sleep, almost keeps the nightmares away. But being in Y/N’s arms, I got the feeling I wasn’t going to need alcohol ever again, moments like this made it all worth fighting for. She was warm and soft and the way she held me, made me feel oddly enough, safe. She was like a warm blanket that wrapped around me and hid me from the outside world, leaving only the radiating heat and light. The sound of her soft breathing, the steady beating of her heart, just her presence was enough to give me peace. 

 

“This is a perfect first date, John.” She whispered as her fingers drew patterns against my chest. SHe had never lost her breathtaking smile and she had only tangled herself tighter against me. I tucked a finger under her chin and tipped her head up to me and I didn’t have to hold back anymore. I kissed her without a care. This kiss was softer and slower than the one in the parking lot. Her hand closed over my stubbled jaw and my fingers tangled into her hair. We took our time, our lips getting to know each other, falling naturally in sync before I slid my tongue over her bottom lip. She eagerly let me in and my tongue moved to taste every bit of her. She was sweet against my tastebuds and the flavor caused me to groan against her mouth. 

I had every intention of saying something back. Maybe be witty or charming, say something suave and debonair. But I couldn’t take my mouth off of her. I rolled over to my side and propping myself up, I hovered over her as I put a little more force into the kiss. Her hands slid up my jaw to tangle in my hair and she tugged gently. My knee wedged her legs apart so I could rest one leg between her thighs and the moan it brought out of her when I pressed into her core was enough to make me almost come undone right then and there. 

As much as I wanted to take this slow, as much as I wanted to savor this moment and make it last, make it the best night she ever had. But God, having her under me, feeling the heat of her body and the way she arched up into me was driving me crazy. For months, I had fought my feelings, squelched my urges, and now that she was mine, I had to have her, all of her, right then. I pulled my lips from her as I pressed my knee firmly against her center, my mouth hovering over her lips as I cracked a smile. “Do you really want me, Little Girl?” 

The nickname which had started when she was young simply meant that in my eyes she was a little girl. But now, it took on a whole new meaning when it left my lips. She was no longer that little snot nose kid. She was a grown woman and she was all mine. I could tell by the darkening in her eyes that the nickname had a different effect on her now as well. SHe used to hate being called that but the way it left my tongue mixed with the gruff tone of my arousal, she would never complain about it again. Her chest rose and fell with panting breaths as her fingers tugged at my hair and curled around my shoulders. “Say it, baby.” 

As if she could read my mind, she knew exactly what to say and how to say it to make my cock twitch. “I want you, Daddy.” The word ripped a low growl from my throat and I buried my face in her neck. Lips and teeth ravaged the soft flesh, sucking marks against her pulse point and collarbone. The bruises and bites would be there for days, a reminder of who she belonged to, reminder of what I can give her. Her eyes closed and she whimpered, breathy ‘yes’s parting her lips as she arched up into me. 

Two firm hands pressed against my chest, pushing me off of her and I stared wide eyed. A wicked grin curled her lips before she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it over the side of the car. Obviously Some time when I was talking with Dean, she had gotten rid of her bra and I was now faced with the most beautiful breasts I had ever seen. Her nipples were already hard and I wasted no time closing my mouth over one of them. My teeth bit softly before I pulled, my tongue laving over it to sooth any pain. My eyes closed as I tasted each pert nipple, moaning at the taste of her skin in between my lips. I pulled in as much flesh as I could before sucking more marks into the sides of her breasts. Her head fell back and her hands roamed up and down my back, nails scraping at the fabric hiking up my jacket and shirt from my waste. 

“You want me bad, huh, Little girl?” I snickered as I sat back on my haunches. She nodded desperately as her hands reached out to push my jacket from my shoulders. She mumbled something about Winchesters and too many layers and I laughed before finally my chest was bare before her. Her arms curled around my neck and she pressed her chest into mine as her lips collided into mine with a bruising kiss. I snaked my arms around her waist, my fingers splaying out over the flushed skin of her back. She felt heavenly and even in the cool night air she was warm to the touch. 

I quickly laid her back down against the cool metal and she clung to me as I positioned myself between her legs. With a roll of her hips, she only made the ache of my rock hard erection worse and I groaned loudly when I pulled away from her lips. A smug little grin pulled at her lips and I glowered down at her. “It's not nice to tease daddy.” My head shook slightly as I smirked, my hand moving between our bodies to slide down her bare stomach. She captured her bottom lip between her teeth as she arched up into me, her eyes closing and head rolling back a bit. “Don't hold back those sounds, little girl.” I kissed her, my teeth tugging on her bottom lip as my fingers slid under the waistline of her jeans. 

I could already feel her heat radiating against the tip of my fingers and when I slid over the front of her panties, she was soaked through. I didn't waste my time and pulled out my hand so I could undo her jeans and pull them down her legs. Now as she laid bare before me, my mouth watered and she shivered. Her fingers made quick work of my belt and I helped get rid of my jeans and boxers. She clearly liked what she saw because she whimpered before biting that bottom lip of hers again. This girl was going to be the death of me. 

My fingers caressed her wet folds as I brought my mouth to hers again. She arched into my touch, fucking herself against my calloused digits begging for me to enter her. The scrape of her nails burned hot down my back as she kissed me hungrily and I slid two fingers inside her dripping channel. She was tight around my fingers and I groaned against her lips. “I need you inside me, John. Fuck me now.” Her fingers curled around my wrist to pull my hand away before she reached for my shaft. 

“No foreplay then. Just right to the point.” I stated with a smirk as she pumped me a few times then led me to her entrance. My body molded against hers as I slid deep inside her in one thrust. She let out a scream and clung to me and I froze, afraid that I had hurt her. But I had nothing to worry about when she started to roll her hips, urging me to move. My need for her was as great as her need for me in that moment so I didn’t take it slow. My thrusts were hard and deep, her walls tight and slick around me. She took me in so perfectly and the look on her face let me know that I was hitting that special spot within her. 

As much as I hated for this moment to be gone so soon, it didn’t take either of us long to find our release. She screamed out my name and I growled her name into the crook of her neck as I rode her through her orgasm. Her arms around me did nothing to keep me from floating away, being with her already took me away on cloud nine. Her eyes were closed when I lifted myself slightly and peered down at her. She wore a blissful smile and her cheeks were flushed and I had never seen her more beautiful. We kissed lazily for a few minutes until the night air became too much for our damp naked bodies. 

She stared up at me with loving eyes, leaving feather light touches down my cheek. I could have laid there with her forever, lost in her eyes that reflected the stars above. “You’re going to have to give Baby a bath after this.” She whispered before we both broke out into a laugh. She kissed me again and exchanged gentle touches before I finally slid out of her and off the hood. I gathered our clothes and we got dressed with wide smiles, throwing each other happy glances while we did so. I helped her slide off the hood and I held her in my arms stealing more kisses just because I could. 

Her fingers twisted in my hair as she wrapped her arms around my neck and I rubbed her back as my hands moved to wrap around her waist. Neither of us wanted to leave, both of us finally getting what we always wanted. “This is only the beginning, little girl.” I whispered against her lips and her smile practically broke her face apart. I couldn’t promise her a happy life or kids or a home. But I could promise to do the best I could to protect her and care for her. Life was going to be hard, that wasn’t going to change. But together, things weren’t all that bad.


End file.
